Just like everyone else, I have sooo much going on! I try to handle it all and keep things moving, but sometimes the stress really gets to me. Is there a way for me to get rid of stress or live stress free? I don't like what feeling stressed out does to me - help!
First let's understand what stress is.
An understanding is important so that we can respect stress for what it is and appreciate how it helps us in life.
Stress is an absolutely essential part of life. Without it, not much would ever get done.
Stress is our body's reaction to external stimulus based on our perception.
Stress is the body energizing to "take care of business".
If you think of your body as a car and your mind as the driver, stress would be the gas pedal.
Can you imagine having a car with no gas pedal? Good luck getting anywhere!
A well functioning car has a well functioning gas pedal. Every time the car is driven, the gas pedal is used.
As you experience life, every time there is a response necessary, your "driver" presses the "gas pedal". Your mind determines how "energized" you need to be in order to respond appropriately (how hard to press the gas pedal) based on your perception of your experience.
The thing about gas pedals is this - after using them, eventually you're supposed to use a brake pedal.
When a body is energized to respond to an experience, it should calm afterwards so that it reaches an emotional balance.
It's not enough to take your foot off of the gas pedal.
It's not enough that your body isn't being further energized to respond to an experience.
There is a need to press the brake pedal to avoid crashing.
There is a need to calm the mind and body to avoid being "stressed out" (mentally and/or emotionally overwhelmed).
There is a need to press the brake pedal to stop when you've reached your destination.
There is a need to calm the body to reach a peaceful equilibrium once you've finished responding to an experience.
It doesn't matter how much of a rush you are in or how important your responsibilities are - if you don't use your brake pedal appropriately, you can expect to crash.
If the management of stress is an ongoing issue, some note taking could really help to organize stressors and your responses to them. You can also quantify your stress to give you a really good idea about how to respond. I'm confident that following the steps listed below will help you reach success in managing your stress.
Step 1:
Create the following three categories of stressors and list as many stressors for each category as you can:
Responsibilities
This category encompasses everything that you feel you need to accomplish.
Work, school, chores, bills, feeding pets, bank deposits, taking kids to the doctor, etc.
Physical
This category encompasses everything going on with your body.
Do you have any illnesses or injuries? What is your daily grooming routine? Are you tired? What does your diet look like? What time do you go to sleep?
Relationships
This category encompasses all of the people in your life.
Your spouse or dating partner, parents, children, neighbors, coworkers, etc. all fall into this category. How many people in your life do you have a relationship with?
How many people in your life do you have regular interactions with? (positive AND negative)
Step 2:
After completing Step 1, write next to each stressor it's own requirement.
For example, in the "Responsibilities" category, next to "Work", I might write that the requirement is to be there by 8 am, which requires me to leave home by 7:15 am.
In the "Physical" category next to "Tired", I might write that the requirement is to get to sleep 30 minutes earlier to get some additional rest.
Step 3:
Using a scale of 1-10, assign a number value to each requirement for how much the requirement stresses you.
For example, if leaving home by 7:15 am is easy for me, I might assign that requirement a value of "1" or so. However, if leaving by that time is difficult because of other responsibilities, I'd assign a higher value.
Similarly, if going to sleep 30 minutes early is easy, I might assign that a value of "1" or so. However, if it would be difficult because of other responsibilities, I'd assign a higher value.
After assigning number values to each stressor, you should start to have a pretty decent understanding of how much stress you experience and where your stress is coming from. However, it's also important to understand that just because something causes stress, it doesn't mean that the effects linger, which leads us to the next step.
Step 4:
Using a scale of 0-10, assign a number value for how much lingering stress you have from each stressor's requirement.
For example, a morning routine can be pretty hectic and leaving by 7:15 can have a number value of 5. However, if none of that stress lingers once I'm on my way to work, I would assign a "Lingering Stress" value of "0"
If on the other hand, there was any lingering stress, I would assign the appropriate number value.
It is the lingering stress that will potentially lead a person to feel emotionally overwhelmed ("stressed out") and keep them from being emotionally balanced.
It is the lingering stress that can really be unhealthy.
To address lingering stress, follow the next step.
Step 5:
For each stressor and associated requirement that has any lingering stress, identify an action you can take that will bring you an amount of joy that is equal to or higher than the stress that lingers.
For example, if after leaving home at 7:15 I have a lingering stress value of 3, I need an action I can take that will bring joy at a value of 3 or higher. If I have some favorite music I can listen to that brings a joy value of 4, I will eliminate all of my lingering stress.
The goal is to get my total "Lingering Stress" as close to "0" as possible.
Step 5 is your brake pedal. As you experience life and your body is energized to do the things you need to, remember to prioritize yourself and do things that bring you joy. Joy will help you reach an emotional balance.
It is important to love yourself so that you experience joy.
Does that make loving yourself a stressor?🤔🤔🤔
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